The behavior pattern that hinders a persons growth and well being is what is referred to as self-sabotage. These habits develop due to fear of failure, low self-esteem or triggers from past experiences. Most of us if not all, have been guilty of this at one point in our lives, or are still struggling to detach from some tendencies that we had become accustomed to.
What are some of these maladaptive presence and how can you identify these patterns in your life?
Good examples are:
Perfectionism. This happens when you set high and unrealistic goals that in the end implodes progress hence causing fear of failure and anxiety.
Procrastination. For years this has been a thorn in my grass. I would deliberately postpone tasks that would later on cause tremendous amounts of stress, especially because I do not work well under pressure.
Negative Self-Talk. What we feed our minds is what we become eventually. To some degree, it is okay to be critical with oneself but doing it constantly breeds self doubt.
Fear of Success. Doing this stalls progress and limits one from self actualizing.
People-Pleasing. Have you been in a social event and left feeling like you should have said something, why did you not? Did you have a chance to save that deal but could not go above the chain of command, God forbid your workmates dislike you? Over time this builds resentment, diminishes personal growth and eventually affects relationships.
Self-handicapping. This when you create obstacles and excuses in advance so that you have ready explanations for potential failure. This in turn limits your ability to takes risks and reinforces your negative mindset.
Imposter syndrome. The constant belief that your achievements are underserved hence living in constant fear of being exposed as a fraud.
How to identify these patterns
The secret is self-awareness. Through introspection and consciously paying attention to your daily routine. Set SMART goals, that way you are able to work within a schedule helping to keep you accountable. Practice mindfulness and self affirmation to get a positive mindset about yourself. Realizing the difference between real and ideal self, helps to clear feelings of self doubt, that way you can begin working towards personal growth and achieve your ideal self.
It is important to remember that the journey to self actualization does not happen overnight, it is a life time affair so be patient with yourself. Cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) is also important to help you recognize maladaptive thoughts that contribute to self-sabotage behavior. However you choose to go about it, the important thing is to begin.
Did you see any points that apply to you? Then it is a sign to start your self awareness journey, become a better version of yourself. You can do it.
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